Starting a business or taking on a new venture often comes with dreams, hard work, and expectations. For many of us, that includes hoping friends and family will rally around us, not only with encouragement but also with active support—like becoming customers, referring others, or sharing our content. But the reality doesn’t always match that vision.

In my own experience, I initially expected more direct support from the people closest to me. They rooted for me, yes, but many chose not to engage directly with my business. It felt like waving to family and friends across the street as they walked into a big chain store, while I was standing outside my local business hoping they’d come in. It was a hard reality to accept at first. But as time passed, I came to understand the situation differently.

Here’s what I learned along the way and why it may resonate with others who feel let down by a lack of support from those closest to them.

Why It’s Hard for Friends and Family to Do Business With Us

It’s easy to interpret a lack of support as indifference or even rejection. But as I reflected, I realized that it’s not that my friends and family didn’t care; rather, they may have hesitated because they didn’t want to risk disappointment—either mine or theirs.

1. Fear of Expectations and Disappointment

• When friends and family engage with your business, they can feel a weight of expectation, whether or not you put it on them. What if they don’t love the product or service? What if they feel uncomfortable critiquing it or, worse, feel guilty if it doesn’t meet their expectations? Many people simply avoid this potential friction by not participating as customers.

2. The Desire to Maintain Personal Relationships

• Sometimes, friends and family simply want to keep personal boundaries intact. They want their connection to you to remain about family dinners, shared memories, and mutual support without the added layer of financial transactions.

3. Comfort with Familiar Brands

• Your friends and family, like all of us, are consumers who already have habits and preferences. Even with the best intentions, people may feel more comfortable sticking with big-name brands or established companies. It’s not a reflection of your work or dedication—it’s human nature.

The Lesson: Accepting Support in All Forms

Once I understood these nuances, I found a new appreciation for the ways my family and friends did support me. Their encouragement, willingness to listen, and sometimes simply respecting my hard work mattered more than I had realized. Here’s the mindset shift that changed everything for me:

1. Redefining Support

• Support can come in many forms. Maybe they’re cheering from the sidelines or telling others about your business, even if they’re not customers themselves. Recognize these actions as forms of loyalty and encouragement.

2. Setting Realistic Expectations

• Expecting friends and family to be customers or clients can unintentionally put pressure on them, which may not be fair to either side. Instead, focus on building a broader network and seeing any direct support from friends and family as a bonus, not a requirement.

3. Focusing on the Bigger Picture

• Friends and family are just one small part of the potential audience for your business. Learning to let go of expectations from those closest to you allows you to concentrate on reaching new people who need what you have to offer. In many cases, this wider audience will ultimately provide the lasting support your business needs to thrive.

For Anyone Starting Something New

This lesson doesn’t just apply to business owners. Whether you’re pursuing a new career, starting a creative project, or launching a nonprofit, friends and family may not engage in the way you expect. But that doesn’t mean they’re indifferent; it’s simply that personal relationships and business interactions don’t always mix easily.

Moving Forward with Appreciation

If you’re feeling let down, consider shifting your perspective. Instead of feeling disappointed, be open to the support that does come your way, even if it doesn’t look exactly how you envisioned. The lesson is a valuable one: don’t let your journey be defined by who shows up in the way you expect, but by the unique impact you’re creating.

By allowing friends and family to remain in their supportive roles—without added expectations—you’ll ultimately find more peace, a stronger network, and an even deeper appreciation for the journey you’re on.

So, keep going, cheer for yourself, and remember that success is about more than the number of familiar faces on your customer list. It’s about the impact you’re making, the relationships you’re building, and the growth you’re experiencing along the way.